as more than a best friend
by Rhiabrey Skye
Summary: because about the tenth time he said it to her, it had been on her birthday and she had looked up into his eyes and everything suddenly changed. / oneshot


It's Friday. It's summer vacation, and it's seven AM. I am crazy, that I know. Anywhoozles, this is just a little pointless **drabble**. and I wrote this in about an hour. Nothing special. Proof read it like twice, and didn't get it beta'd.

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his kisses that trail along her neck and jaw line burn through the tan skin like a thousand knives. She trembles at the tenderness and pain he's giving her just by the touch of his fingers along her cheek.

"I love you. only you."

her fingers lace through his as she tries to convince herself that he's telling the truth. That he'll forever only be hers and that she knows he's lying and he's worn over the fact that she knows he knows, but he's convinced to keep them together- he knows they'll make it through.

He pulls back, stares into her distressing brown eyes, fear and love written all over them, and he kisses her full pink lips, soothingly. She knows he'll always kiss her differently.

At that moment she is sure that he's the only man who could make her feel so much hurt and happiness at the same time.

"I try." he's angry and he's mad, but he's crying and that breaks her heart. his nose flares and he sucks his bottom lip through mouth. He's angry at her.

"I try to be happy, you know?" his voice cracks and he takes a timid step towards her, "I disserve to be, but some people don't understand that." he looks down at his beat-up black converse and he thinks about the past few weeks and with the rush of memories he looks back up at her with more confidence this time, "It's like.." he pauses for a second as he stares at her pale face, "It's like I can't choose who to love anymore. Why?" he steps up closer to her, no longer crying, "Why is that, Sam?"

She thinks for a moment, considers the thought of just running out of there, and ignoring how they're so much closer now than they once were(both literally and mentally) and wonders if making a run for it would make them forget _them_.

But they would never go there.

"Did you know you're the reason my girlfriend doesn't love me? The reason I can't look at you for half a second without people concluding that I'm suddenly in love with you? Like they're suddenly in charge of my entire love life?"

"And it's my fault, because-? me feeling this way about you is destroying your pointless high school love life?"

"Fuck all that." She's taken aback by his fowl language. He's never cursed near her before. The foreignness makes her stomach drop. he takes a few labored breaths until he's calmed himself down and asks her in a soft caring tone, "She said she's scared, you know? Scared that I might suddenly leave her for you." he scoffs and this was worse than the time he rejected her. He's hurting her intentionally, "I need you to understand that, Sam. I need you to tell me, right now, that I wont do that. That I don't love you and you don't love me. So I can finally get back to my life without worrying."

She's getting angry and stares at him like he's insane, "You know...if you think it's so easy, then why don't you tell her yourself that you don't love me?"

He's mad, "_I don't love you_." he hisses

She gives him a hurt look that makes his heart whimper - he hates that.

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"You don't look at me that same way you look at her."

he's starring down at the food on his plate.

"You don't tell me anything, Freddie. You -"

"I came here to have a nice dinner with you," he spits in her face as he drops his fork loudly on the plate, drawing eyes from all around. Her mouth gapes open and his face softens as he clears his throat and lowers his voice, but still keeping his eyes on hers, "forget her, forget everything, just don't bring her up again."

her voice cracks, "Why?" he tilts his head, "I think she's sweet and nice, attractive, funny-" she stops short, "I just don't understand how you can tell me there's never been anything between you guys."

He drops his fist on the table and suddenly he's yelling because he's just so angry, "Stop, okay? Stop! What I felt for her is in the past, it's all back there in that little part of my life, before I met you-" he stops yelling and there are small tears in her eyes, and her brown caramel hair drapes over the side of her face, "_before I met you_."

She looks down at the hankerchief in her lap, "So what do you need me to do to prove to you that you're want I want, huh? Do you need me to kneel down _right here _on this god-forsaken floor and propose to you? Make love to you for countless hours? Have your name skywritten for you to see? Huh? What do you want from me?"

Other people eating have now stopped and are starring at him in shock and awe. He feels like grabbing her by the arm and dragging her to his apartment and _just._

She looks to the side and lets a tear run down her cheek, he's starring at her, waiting for an answer.

"I just-" she looks up at him and he takes a deep breath, "I don't want any of that."

"I love you."

those three words knocks the breath out of her and her blurry eyes widen.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?"

they stare at each other for what can seem like hours before he takes the courage to sit back down and continue to pretend eating.

After their date, she drags to the beach and they sit on a bench on the boardwalk.

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"The beach terrifies me at night, but it's a good kind of scared, you know?"

his voice flows with the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore and she interwinds her fingers with his. He looks down at their joined hands and smiles softly. He looks back up at her and their eyes meet, "I'm in love with you, Emily."

she stares at his lips and looks away, dropping his hand, "What happened between you two?"

and suddenly he feels like jumping off the little ledge that leads into the ocean and just let the rocks hit his body repeatedly. 'Cause, damn, all he's ever wanted was to be done with everything.

"I believe you," he looks at her face and she's slightly bent over and she's looking at the sand below, "I beleive you when you say what's in the past stays in the past." a sigh of reliefe escapes him, "But I still want to know the story. If you expect me to build at least some trust for you, you have to tell me why you _hate_ her so much."

Seconds, muinutes, pass until he speaks. His voice is low and full of emotion, and he's fidgetting with the sleave of his plaid shirt. She looks over at him and sees the feelings his eyes hold, the soft breeze making one of his brown strands fall down into his face.

"She was my best friend." he feels his heart swell in his chest as he thinks about all the years passed and the memories now gone, "we...we did _everything _together. We would laugh, smile, be kids." he smiles gently to himself, "she would do the funniest things, you know?" he looks up at she sees the moisture in his eyes, "She would give me this wierd little nicknames and I would buy her smoothies and she'd thank me by doing nothing, and when I would let her borrow my homework she would leave these little notes on the side of the paper," he scoffs, "in pen so I wouldnt be able to get it off, and the teachers would be so mad." he chuckles and she laughs with him.

A few more seconds past before his laughter dwells down and he's getting _that _look again, "Then-" he leans one of his elbows on his knees and he rests his head on his hand and he's looking at the refleciton of the moon in the shallow waves.

He suddenly misses those midnight calls from her, those times where they could hang out and no one would question their relationship, because it just hurt. Things started happening between them, she started realizing things when he would speak and her eyes would stay on his lips for too long, when one second they would be talkling on the Shay's couch on opposite ends and the next his hand would be far up her leg. And then he realized one day when he would begin using the term _i love you _so loosely around her, like it didn't mean anything. But he knew it did, because about the tenth time he said it to her it had been on her brithday and she had looked up into his eyes and he saw the sadness in there, and he knew she would scared. He walked away and didn't speak to her for days.

"I fell in love with her." he whispers.

and for the first time that night, Emily actually smiles, a true smile, "Yea?"

he scoffs and runs a hand through his hair, "I- I don't understand." he shakes his head quickly, "We were doing so great, we were finally friends," _best friends_, "and then I kept thinking about her in ways a friend shouldn't and...and I knew I loved her, but I denied it. And then you came into my life and I thought maybe-"

"I would help you get rid of your feeligns for her." she says quietly. she puts her hand on his knee, "Did it work, Freddie?"

She sees a few tears stream down his cheeks and he sniffs softly and then he looks over at her and gives her a sad smile, "It doesn't matter. We're not best friends anymore, we drifted apart..."

"but you sitll love her-?"

they wait a few seconds as he pulls her hand off his knee and he walks over to the ledge and pears over the dunes, like he would find in answer in them. Suddenly he remembers the last time they talked.

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"I'm just as annoyed as you are about this." she says as she scrolls past the comments on the iCarly page, "People can't just conclude that-"

He cuts her short, "You know, Sam, maybe you're just scared. Scared that they might actually be right."

she looks at him in disbeliefe and then whispers quietly, trying her best not to let her emotions get to her, "Your girlfriend is waiting for you outside."

"I love her." he states simply. he sees the hurt in his eyes and suddenly he feels great, because maybe he actually won for once.

"Yea. I guess you do." she gets off the beenbag chair, closing her laptop, and walks over to the sudio door, "Oh, and if you want to find me, i'll be at the Groovy smoothie, with Carly, you know, my best friend." her voice cracks on the last word and she suddenly she's out the door.

Freddie doesn't go after her. He doesn't think about what she just said. He doesnt cry.

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"I do." he says in such a small voice that he questions himself if he actually said it. But he knows he did, and so does she.

She gets up off the seat walks up to him and grabs his face in her hans. Her thumbs caresses him cheek softly as she brushes her lips against him. When he openes his eyes he sees the tears there, the eyes that are telling him _sorry_..

He stares as she walks away down the boardwalk, crying softly to herself.

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"Yo, yo. Sam here-"

"Yo, you. Sam here-"

he groans in aggrivation as he hangs up one more time, and throws his pearphone hard against the wall. He slumps down on his bed and burries his face in his hands. He feels like such an idiot- a lovesick idiot.

His head shoots up as he hears a vibration coming from his phone which, surprisingly, didn't shatter. He's slsowly walks over to it, he's breathing heavy as he stares down that the tortureous piece of technology.

_Sam_

He kneels down on both his knees, picks up the phone with both his hands, and he's starring at the cute blonde that's continuously flashing up, the three letters written just below.

"Sam?" his voice is hoarse when he answers and puts it to his ear.

"Hey." and he knows immediately that it's Melanie. Not Sam. And he's aggrivated and annoyed, and of course she'd have her sister call in her place. Cause she's _such _a _fucking coward, "_She doesn't want to speak to you right now-"

"Just put it on speaker, _please._" he hears her ask Sam on the other line if she could put it on speaker. His heart skips a beat when Melanie tells him okay.

He hears her put the phone down and he takes a deep breath.

"Sam."

she's starring at it and her heart shatters at the sound of his shaking deep voice.

"Just listen..okay?" he takes in a deep breath and Melanie's asking her if she should hang up. Sam shakes her head no slowly, starring at the phone, "I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I lied to you. I meant it all those times I told you I loved you," she hears him take a few deep breaths and her heart swells, "that's the one thing I would never lieto you about, okay? So just, just pick up the phone and talk to me, baby. _Don't be scared._"

Melanie's eyes widen and she looks at Sam who has tears running down her face.

"Sam..."

Sam doesn't let her finish because she talks over her, "You hurt me-" she sobs so squeitly, but he hears her.

He answers after a while, "I know. I know. And I wont do it again, I promise."

She doesn't answer. A few minutes pass before he speaks again, "Do you trust me, Sam?"

"Once a upon a time."

"Nothing's changed."

"Hell, nothing's changed," she scoffs, "_Everything's changed!_" she cries, "You're not the same boy I knew back then. I miss that boy, Freddie. That boy would never hurt me, no matter how much I hurt _him_. It's the reason I fell in love with him, because he was so strong."

"I'm still that boy, Sam-"

she cuts him off, "He was my _best friend_."

"I didn't mean it when I said you were the cause of all my problems. I never even truly loved her in the first place so that shit doesn't even matter anymore!"

"Of course it matters!"

"I broke up with her."

Silence.

"For you, for me, for _us._" Sam is crying softly and she's asking _why why would you do that you stupid dork, _"I want you back."

She can't take it anymore, she runs up to the phone and puts it to her ear, "Are you home?"

"Yea."

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He stares at his phone in slight confusion after she hangs up in his face. Suddenly, a cute smile ends up on his face once he realises that meant she was coming over.

That was confirmed when he heard a soft knock on his door.

He's running towards it so fast and he swears she lets out the cutest sob ever when their eyes meet. and, _God, how he's missed those eyes, that skin, that hair._

She grabs him so fast, and her head is on his chest and he's hugging her so tight. He doesn't ever want to let go.

"I love you." he murmurs into her neck before kissing her there, "as more than a best friend."

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